Well, that was a wonderful 8 minutes of my life that was well worth sitting and listening. For an improv session, this sounds very good.
No matter what it is that you choose to do in life, please don't ever stop making music. It would be a sad day if that ever happened.
Keep it up!
~Phyrnna ^_^
Thank you Phyrnna! I've been listening to some of your music recently and love the simple emotional intensity that it has. The melodies are very singable, and that makes for music that people can easily relate to.
Thank you for taking the time to listen. I was a bit concerned people would not listen after the first couple of minutes, but the responses so far have shown otherwise.
Even if I don't pursue music professionally, I think I'll always continue to at least improvise for my own pleasure. Music has been good to me, so I'd like to continue making it. :)
OMG THIS IS A NEW PLATINUM RECORD RIGHT HERE GAIS!!!!!
...
Okay, so for a first song, this isn't half bad.
Although I'd say the flute part was much better composed than the piano part.
Melodic motifs and whatnot are pretty decent and I would actually like to see you remake this. :)
00:06 -> 00:11 the flute part reminds me of Frog's theme from Chrono Trigger.
Do please do a remake, it'd be fun to hear one. :)
~Phyrnna ^_^
nuuuu, go away. what are you doing reviewing this. ;_;
IN ALL SERIOUSNESS.
Yeah, the melodies are kinda sorta OK. I still think this track is baaaaad though. I might remake it! I've always thought of remaking an old song of mine. Could be cool.
And yeah I hear the resemblance in 0:06!
ANYWAY, I'M DONE TALKING HERE. TOO BUSY BEING FAMOUS BECAUSE OF THIS PLATINUM SONG.
So Step sent me this to listen and I must say, you've got lots of potential!
I'd leave you a nice long review on your track, but unfortunately I'm super tired and I'm just enjoying the track too much to bother. xD
Well done overall! I've added you to my favorites so I can keep my eye on you! ;)
Keep it up!
~Phyrnna ^_^
Personally I'm a huge fan of how you brought in the kick and the rest of the percussion. I think it has a great effect. :)
I approve!!
~Phyrnna ^_^ <3
I tried to separate this one from the rest of my stuff with some simple stylistic elements, so I'm glad you noticed. Glad to see you reporting in! :D
tl;dr.
That's the summary of my thoughts for this. The music itself wasn't bad, but there's a mouthful of speaking to digest there and they're both competing for attention. This is compounded by the effects on her voice. Nice if used now and then, but it's overused almost as if you're TRYING to show that you can do it. Nice, but it makes it a pain to listen to what she's actually saying.
In summary, less effects on her voice, and let the music and her voice not compete for attention so much. It'll work better to help get the message to stick in people's minds. Also, try to make it shorter, by the end of this I don't think anyone can recall much from just a first listen, and it's the first listen that you want to make count.
~ (Dj-SkyFall ) Thanks i really appreciate it you'd be surprised on how much work went into it, but non the less thank you for taking the time to reply and im really happy to have some one like you give a strong honest opinion, i will use it to improve my song as a music producer but also for my group, i hope others will take the time and review as well, no one can become better if they don't take the criticism and opinions of others, once again i appreciate your reply and for all else its always good start...
~ (DJ-Zephyr(armandragon)) Thanks for your review :) it gonna help us to improve.
And here I thought you quit NG submissions. xD
I'm glad to see that you haven't stopped submitting to NG. As much as NG is not very profitable or career advancing, it's nice to contribute back to the community. :)
I could review the composition or sound, but I think it goes without saying that there's not much I can critique of the song as is, since you're very good at what you do.
Thanks for putting up another submission. You and your music been a great inspiration to many and this song is no exception.
~Phyrnna ^_^
nah, I try my hardest to keep submitting but I can't submit loops/material I write for clients anymore and due to other obligations my free time to write "for me" is very limited. I mean I wasn't able to write music for a whole 4 months before I snapped and just spent a whole day writing this! 4 WHOLE MONTHS :0!!!!
It made me so sad...
I'm glad you liked the song, thank you for listening and the review!
So being the first song I heard from you, I was certainly quite impressed. Even more so from knowing your tools at your disposal. Now that I have a little bit of time, here's a critique. I have no idea how long this will be... so here we go!
From a composition standpoint, I think that this is pretty well written. :)
Your main melodic motif is maintained well enough that it stands out and sticks within the listener's mind. However, each "section" of the song repeats a little too much for my liking. That's a personal preference of mine, however I like to mix things up more. You certainly do mix up the variations in instruments enough to keep it fresh.
However I do think that this song would have benefited from a third motif that contrasted the main two you have there. A sort of "break" if you will in the middle of the song that would serve as a temporary resting spot for the listener before repeating the main motifs.
Another thing you could use a little more of is dynamics. This is probably also a bit in the sound aspect, but it's also a composition thing. I think if you had more dynamics with the instruments, it would sound a ton better and have much more emotional power behind it.
Now from a sound point of view, there is a lot that this piece is lacking. Let's take it from the top.
For the section from the beginning to 00:40, it sounds as if you've put on a lo-fi filter or a bandpass EQ to simulate a radio/telephone sound. It works to some degree, however it's not significant enough to indicate it as an intended effect as compared to just bad sound, especially since we start out with it and nothing else to compare it to. I would suggest making the EQ effect much more dramatic and also removing the reverb entirely for a much better effect. Then automate the EQ effect out and the reverb in quickly at the 00:40 mark and you got yourself a pretty good sounding transition.
Another thing I noticed, and this is much easier to pick out at around the 00:30 mark, is that the decay on the reverb is very quick on the piano. It's not much of a problem usually, but at the 00:30 mark I can hear quite distinctly that the reverb decays and vanishes right before the next note, which sounds rather unnatural. I would suggest lengthening the decay just by a little bit so that you don't have that effect.
The strings that enter in at 0:40 and especially the higher pitched ones that come in at 00:54 have a somewhat odd attack to them. It's almost a dramatic attack, but because of how it does it for every new note, it sounds very... mechanical and almost like it's breathing. I'm not sure what sounds you have at your disposal in terms of strings, but you should find some better ones and/or try using a hybrid to help cover for these.
Now the next thing I want to point out is your percussion. Notably the set that enters at 1:20. These drums sound very muffled and later in the song, they are sometimes even overshadowed by everything else. I would recommend an EQ to boost some of the low bass end and a bit of the high and mid high end. In addition, maybe some compression might help it out a bit. Right now I feel like they're very lacking in any power or push and if you gave them those the drums would add a lot to the emotional content.
The background "water drop" sound that enters around 2:39 are a very nice touch that I liked. This I think is probably the best sounding part honestly because it's not too loud and fitted in quite well.
At 3:06 when the additional piano comes in, it sounds as if you're using a separate piano instrument from the one that's been playing. This one sounds pretty good too. I would suggest perhaps trying a subtle delay on it to give it a more of a fantastical sound. Of course, that's entirely up to you if you want it to sound like that. I think it's worth a shot though.
Overall, the track could also use some compression to bring it up to what's considered "professional" levels in loudness. Honestly I don't care much for that, but you should try experimenting with it. :)
Well, I think I've got quite a review typed out. Not much else I can think of really, this is how my reviews typically go anyways. Two part reviews on composition and sound aspects.
I hope this lengthy review helps!
Keep it up!
~Phyrnna ^_^ <3
Thank you very much for the fantastically in-depth review! My jaw dropped for just a second when I saw it. Now I can't stop smiling. Well, there's a lot for me to cover in response, so I'd best get cracking and try not to digress *too* much:
I certainly agree that this song could have used a bridge of sorts to break up the...well, I hate to say monotony, but I guess that's as good a word as any. There are just really the two main parts, and they really do repeat too much. Had the song itself not been almost five minutes long, that probably wouldn't be as large a problem, but still--a little more variety can go a long way. Like much of the music that I started submitting back in 2011, this one was just sitting there waiting for an audience, though it's not nearly as old as some of my other submissions. I have quite a few more that I'm sitting on that I may never deem quite good enough, and some that were purely for fun (like a funky remix of 'Cooking by the Book') that I'll probably end up keeping mostly to myself.
Yes, I applied an AM Radio-style filter to those initial 40 seconds for dramatic effect, but I see what you mean about the reverb. It doesn't really fit in with that sort of high pass sound. I like to think that I've improved when it comes to my mastering techniques, but there's always more to learn. That's why I appreciate professional reviews so much.
I honestly hadn't given a lot of thought to how the reverb decays too quickly, but now that you've brought my attention to it, I know precisely what you mean. What I definitely don't want is an unnatural sound, but that's exactly what's happening here. Part of this could probably be blamed on my samples and the program that I use, but I know that I can compensate for it, so it's all on me. The program that I use has its own reverb, which - if not utilized well - can kind of make the sound muddy. It sounds fine when I'm working on it, but it doesn't translate as well when recording it digitally onto a computer. Yet one more in a long list of pros for switching over to FL Studio.
Good call on the string attack. Mad referenced this in his review, as well. The attack is definitely too drawn out, and your breathing analogy feels apt. Sometimes I think I just don't hear things that I should and it takes a less biased ear or two to bring it to my attention. Most likely a case of the artist (me) being too close to the music, but that doesn't make it any less of an issue. Personal bias sometimes gets in the way of objectivity, and I can admit that I'm guilty of that on occasion.
Balancing the volume levels between percussion, bass, and melody/harmony sections is probably one of my biggest overall hurdles. In this case, various things end up getting kind of washed out at different times, and though the drums are meant to be a subtle underscore, they're just not quite loud enough.
I'm glad that you like the water droplet sound (the instrument is a high-pitched tonal woodblock, but water drop is what I was aiming for :D), and that entire section seems to be the overall favorite. I also added a hint of AM Radio filter to this part, but it's much less obvious, so I guess that was a good decision on my part.
I'll have to try adding a moment or two of delay to that higher piano progression. A very cool suggestion, and I want to see what it sounds like now.
I really appreciate your review, Phyrnna. It definitely helps. Also, thanks for being so approachable! I'll try not bug you too incessantly, but it's comforting just knowing that you're around. Kindred spirits are always welcome. ^_^
I wish I could write metal like you! >_< <3
The intro is wonderful and definitely fits the title a lot. Definitely feels like ascension. This is right up my alley! :D It reminds a bit of music from The Black Mages.
I wish I could provide more constructive feedback, but unfortunately I don't know enough about this genre to help.
Thanks for the wonderful piece! I'm still rocking out to it! :D
~Phyrnna ^_^
Thanks! \m/ I love the Black Mages! Thanks for listening!
This reminds me of some of the MMX stage themes involving lava. :P
It's got a good beat that pulls the player towards something, and that rough bass synth is great for setting the mood for the stage.
Great job!
~Phyrnna ^_^
Some of my favorite songs from the MMX games were the MMX Flame Mammoth and MMX4 Magma Dragoon, so maybe that's why. Glad you enjoyed it! :3
When this song opened, and also along various points, it reminded me of the Deus Ex Human Revolution theme. Certainly very cinematic and builds up very well. The ending was rather disappointing however.
Also, in the sound department, it sounded a bit crowded around the 1:15 mark when all the instruments are playing together and sound like they clash with each other.
Those are my thoughts so far. I know you two with your talents will make something amazing out of this, so I'll keep my eyes peeled for it. :)
~Phyrnna ^_^
That's what we're hoping! ;)
What's my motto? Turning Dreams into Reality. That's my motto.
Age 35, Female
Dreaming Musician
Flying Above the Clouds
Joined on 3/20/08
For Now, Goodbye (Improv) 
Mountains of Gold 
Grand Dimensions (Intro) 
To Smoke is To Ascend 
