Very good except for the vocals.
I really liked this song and the music part of it. The lyrics are very beautiful and the music fits very well.
The only critique I have about this is the vocals. In my honest opinion, it could have been done better. At certain times the microphone seemed to not handle the volume very well. I have that problem too so I understand the frustration.
The other critique I have is with your voice itself. Partially it's the song itself, since the song has such a big range for the melody. That probably made it really hard for you to sing. It sounds as if you strained your voice to sing it. I guess the only way to work around that is to practice singing.
Great job nonetheless. I look forward to more from you.
-HFX ^_^